Paper Round: Are England really as good as Germany?

England are either 'as good as Germany' or else hope to be that good one day: Tuesday's friendly against Germany at Wembley has got the papers understandably worked up as ever, but there seems to be a fair bit of confusion about just how good England are - or rather, how good Roy Hodgson thinks they are.

The Daily Express's headline booms, "Hodgson: England are as good as Germany", which is a great line, if a bit of a stretch, considering that what the England boss actually said was that the players will be "anxious" to show that they are "every bit as good", which is a slightly different thing, though he then added that England's players "will be" as good as Germany one day.

The Daily Telegraph comes to a similar conclusion as the Express, using the headline, "Germany are no better than us, says Hodgson." But Hodgson's words seem closer to the line The Sun takes: "Prove you're up to it" is the back page splash, illustrated with a picture of Hodgson pointing furiously, trying to paint the mild-mannered Croydon gentleman as a snarling, shouty Ferguson-type manager.

The Times goes with the least catchy headline of the day: "Hodgson hails German model", which frankly would be a more interesting piece if it had been the 66-year-old waxing lyrical about the charms of Claudia Schiffer. Instead, it's all this sort of stuff: "Hodgson has hailed Germany’s resurgence as the example for England to follow while they seek to emerge from a transitional period." Very worthy, very dull.

The Daily Mail takes a very different and more interesting line line, with the paper's Neil Ashton pointing out that England will be proving themselves against a Germany side that is very different from the Germany side which will turn out at the World Cup. With the likes of Manuel Neuer, Philipp Lahm, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Mesut Ozil set to miss the game, the visitors are seeing this as a "luxury game" which will "give the understudies a chance to shine".

Such subtleties apparently don't worry Jack Wilshere, who is quoted in several papers saying that the odd scything tackle here and there will be one of the keys for England. "Time to fight dirty" is the spin the Express puts on it.

Paper Round says: England are clearly not as good as Germany (for starters the Germans didn't have to sweat over their final World Cup qualifying match), nor is there any need to yet again change the entire structure of the youth system in this country. International success is very simple: it's based on having 11 players who (a) work well as a team, (b) have no weak links, and (c) have three or four genuinely outstanding performers. And none of those three factors will be tested against a second-string Germany side seven months before the World Cup even begins.

Full stories: The Times, The Express, The Mail

'Big Phil' Scolari fancies Premier League return: The Guardian reports that the Brazil manager feels he has unfinished business in England. The paper carries an interview with the former Chelsea boss, who said, "I was upset by the way my departure from Chelsea happened… If I had to return, I would do it." Scolari remains understandably upbeat about how things worked out following that disappointing stint at Stamford Bridge: "What happened in England was a disappointment but my life changed for the better and I will have the honour of managing Brazil in our home World Cup. That is an improvement in my book."

Paper Round says: Scolari was at Chelsea for eight months. He was paid £16 million for his trouble (most of which was his pay-off after getting sacked). And we're meant to be surprised that he'd fancy another crack at the job?

They stink it's all over - the open sewer at England's World Cup hotel: The front page of The Sun carries an 'exclusive' about the sewer that backs on to England's base in Rio de Janeiro for the next World Cup. "The 'luxury hotel' booked for England's 2014 World Cup stars is beside a reeking open drain containing human sewage," the paper reports.

Paper Round: The story is fair enough - the only problem is that The Sun were scooped to their 'exclusive' by the Daily Star several weeks ago - a story which we followed up right here at Eurosport.

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Bendtner tipped for Barcelona or Real Madrid move: The Daily Mail carries a fascinating story about a footballer who boasts one of the world's great egos: Nicklas Bendtner, the Arsenal flop whose self-confidence is only matched by his mediocrity. "Bendtner told the Danish press he envisages himself playing for, wait for it, 'Real Madrid or Barcelona' next," the paper reports.

Paper Round says: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!